Protecting my cubs

It's not the first time it's happened. My five year old came home and told me that one of his good friends told him (once again) that he couldn't play with the group of kids that he always plays with. He was left with no friends. My heart broke. His didn't look broken, but was fairly matter of fact. It appears I was more worried about it than my son. I immediately went into justice mode. How dare they say that to my wee boy?! What else did they say? How did they say it?!
After a while, I pulled my head in and changed to objective questioning (not the tell me about the bully type). I then discovered that perhaps my son was lacking in certain skills to maintain friendships. It turned out that he was determined to play a particular game and the others were over that game and therefore (in five year old fashion), they were over him. I can understand it, I get over his games and determination to play them too!
So we're going to be looking at teaching him strategies to be a good friend- sharing of not just toys but ideas. Give and Take sort of stuff. It's great that he has leadership qualities (read bossy) but not so great if he doesn't let others decide the games.

Chelsea has had an interesting week at preschool. She fears a boy who said a couple of nasty comments to her. Boy did she crumble! I am surprised that she's so soft and squishy inside, and relieved that I do not need to let her into the big wide world of school just yet.
She did NOT want to go to preschool. She cried, she sobbed, she clung to me and I felt absolutely awful. I told myself that I would make her go so that she could get back on the bike again so to speak. Really I forced her as I had to be at work. My poor wee girl.
So we talked about it. I explained that the teachers would help and love her, and I explained that the wee boy was just learning too. Then we talked about not wanting to be places, but having to find 'fun' in them anyway. I said we'd make a fun book together when we got home.

When I picked her up she declared proudly, "I found fun!" and she said she had found it in the sandpit, and in afternoon tea, and various other places. I was immensely proud of her, and the fact that she faced her fears with bravery. I know it's going to be hard again next week but I'm comforted that she's going to learn how perservere when things get tough. Heck, I'm not even sure that I've learned how to do that yet!

I think that our kids are remarkably resilient, and strongly able to learn how to cope with emotional pain. It's natural to want to carry their worries for them, but we forget how capable they can be. I hope my kids develop strong, empathetic characters. I wonder how much of that will come naturally and how much I'll have to consciously guide and scaffold. Teaching them to read and write is so much more black and white!